Insecurity Changes People
by Pained Past97
Summary: The boys are gone on tour, how will Katie deal without them? How will they to her changes when they get back? Read to find out! :) I do NOT own BTR or any of the characters:/


The guys had been gone for three months on tour and were finally coming home. I missed them, surprisingly. I missed crawling into bed with my big brother after a nightmare, I missed having smart talks with Logan, and I missed pulling pranks with Carlos. Most of all, I missed my bed partner, James. Yes, I Katelynn Brooke Knight am dating James David Diamond. We had been together for almost three years and when we moved to L.A. my mom let us share a room. It had been hard the last three months, but I talked to James every night and sometimes skyped. But I missed the huge mass of muscle next to me at night.

They would be back in two days and I had made a few minor changes to our room, my body, and my wardrobe. I had gotten a tattoo, pierced my nose, and let's just say my wardrobe was a little less then innocent.

I would be staying with Camille for the next two days and go shopping with her and Jo, the next day.

**THE NEXT DAY**

Kami, Jo, and I had been at the mall for almost three hours when I got a call from James.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, baby. What's up?"_

"I'm at the mall with Kami and Jo. Why? What's up?"

"_Nothing, just wanted to tell you that were leaving a day early. So we will be home tonight. And Kendall told me to tell you to kiss Jo on the cheek for him."_

I reached over and kissed Jo on the cheek for Kendall and Kami for Logan.

"There, they both got their kisses. Now, why are you coming home early?"

"_I don't know, but we are. So I'll see you tonight, baby. I love you. Bye."_

"Love you to." I said hanging up the phone. After that, we raced around the mall to finish our shopping. In my case, I went to Victoria Secret and this little sex shop, Fantasies Come to Life.

On the way home, the girls kept asking me what I had gotten. I purposely ignored them as I drove the beautiful green mustang GT James had gotten me as an anniversary gift.

I had just beaten a limo pulling into the Palmwoods parking lot at seven o'clock. When we drove past them, I could see my brother through the open window. I gasped and swerved into the nearest parking spot, leaving the girls to get out themselves as I ran inside. I had just finished putting the last few touches on my makeup and the room when I heard the front door open.

"We're home!" did he have to shout? I hurried out of the bedroom and into my big brothers arms. I squeezed as hard as I could. I had missed Kendall. His arms were soon replaced by other brothers, but this time, I was the one being squeezed. I slowly turned to look into the hazel eyes I hadn't seen in three months. He scooped me up and spun me around so fast I thought I was going to up-chuck.

"I missed you. So much." James whispered into my ear. He set me down looked at me. His eyes going as big as saucers when he saw the piercing and my outfit. I was wearing a bright green low cut top and some white booty shorts with a pair of light green pumps. Kendall chose that moment to notice as well and yanked me away from James only to wrap his jacket around me.

"Let me go! What the hell is wrong with you, Kendall?" I screamed. James just stood there, his jaw on the floor.

"James! Make him let me go!" I hollered only to be ignored by my own boyfriend. He turned and made a bee line for the bedroom. "James!" I screamed again, "You are so sleeping on the couch!" That one made the other three guys laugh.

A couple hours later had me in bed. James was just getting out the shower and getting dressed. I had put on a pair of his boxers and an old t-shirt that swallowed me whole. He looked over at me and smiled, seeing me in his clothes. I smiled at him and laughed when he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Jamie, what are you doing?" I asked as he grabbed a pillow and blanket.

"You said I had to sleep on the couch…" he whispered confusedly.

"You really believed me? I want you to spoon me." I said jutting my lower lip out. He could never say no to my puppy dog pout; none of the guys could, and I used that to my advantage. He sighed and put his pillow back down on the bed, tossing the blanket towards the closet as the climbed in behind me.

"What caused all the changes? The piercing? The clothes? What happened to my innocent little girlfriend?" he asked after he got situated with his arm around my waist. I lay there, thinking of an answer that would least likely embarrass me.

"I was scared. Scared you would find a fan that caught your interest more than me. I was scared if I didn't change, you would leave me." I replied, my voice breaking a couple times. When I risked a glance up, his face was unreadable. I almost thought that maybe that had happened; he had found someone else, someone better. My head telling me I was right, but my heart saying the opposite.

"Katie. Baby, please tell me that's not true. Please say that you have more faith in me." I couldn't look at him after he said that, knowing that I was going to have to face the inevitable sooner or later. I sat up and tried to move away but his arm constricted around me.

"Don't you dare even _try_ to move. If that's what you think, then I need to know why. Please, Katie? If you're leaving me, then I think I deserve to at least know why." Now he's going in for the guilt trip. I wouldn't be able to hold in the tears for much longer.

"Don't even start with the guilt trip, James David." I said finally prying his arms off me. "If you can't admit that you don't love me anymore then I will be moving into Kendall's room. Permanently." I said in a surprisingly calm voice.

I glanced over to him, only to be disappointed when his face was indifferent. I grabbed my pillow and quickly made my way to Kendall's room.

"Kendall." I nudged him, my voice quivering. "Kendall!" I pushed a little harder when I didn't get an answer.

"What, Katelynn?" his voice, laden with sleep made its way from under his pillow. I pushed him, making him scoot over and laid down next to him. He turned and I snuggled up to him, only to start sobbing into his chest.

"What's wrong baby sister?" he asked as he rubbed my back. I tried answering but all that came out of my mouth was loud sobs. He just sat there patiently waiting for me to calm down enough to talk. When the sobs quieted to just tears, I was able to talk.

"James doesn't love me anymore!" And the sobs were back. I could feel Kendall's hand tighten around my back, into fists.

"Did he say that?" He growled. This could end badly, with James in the hospital and Kendall in jail for assault. I sat there for a few minutes, trying to catch my breath. I knew he was pissed; big brother was always over-protective of me.

"Not exactly. But he found a fan more interesting, he doesn't love me anymore!" this was going to be a long night, with very little sleep, I could already tell. Kendall, being the good big brother he is, stayed up with me all night, even through the spouts of tears.

**THE NEXT DAY**

I walked into the kitchen, ignoring the stares. Yes, it was after nine and I wasn't dressed yet. I was still in James's boxers and t-shirt, the smell comforting me, even when the real owner wouldn't. I grabbed my cup of coffee from Logan and went to watch cartoons with Carlos. If I had spared a glance at James, I would have seen that his eyes were almost as swollen and bloodshot as mine. The boys noticed right away, the difference between me and James.

"Me and Carlos are going to the pool, Kit-Kat. You want to come?" Logan asked as he made his way to his room to change. I thought it would a fun to hang out with my big brothers for a little while, so I said yeah. After I found the perfect bathing suit, a black bikini, I made my way down to the pool for some sun. I quickly found Logan and made my way over to him.

"Katie, what is on your side?" he asked as I unwrapped my towel from around my body. I looked down to see the big cross tattooed on my right side below my rib cage.

"Um, a henna?" I tried, knowing it wouldn't work, not with Logan. He pulled me forward, examining it. You could tell right away that it was real, and I was stupid enough to let one of them see it.

"This is real, Katelynn. How did you get this? Your only 16!" he exclaimed, attracting the attention of almost everyone around the pool. I quickly pulled away from Logan and re-wrapped my towel around my body and turned to run, but Carlos was right behind me. He lifted me over his shoulder, ignoring my yelp of protest, and made a hasty exit. When we got back to 2J and he set me down, the look on his face said I either show him, or he would rip the towel away from me. I slowly took away the towel to revel the tattoo.

"What's the writing in it?" He asked as he examined it. I knew someone would notice the small print inside, I just didn't think it would be Carlos.

"Its mine and James' date." I replied, refusing to look at the taunting little numbers. I knew Kendall would be upset if he knew, that's why I asked Carlos not to tell him.

"I won't, but you're gonna have to talk to Logan. You know he can't keep a secret from Kendall." He replied after standing.

"Keep a secret from Kendall? Who would want to keep a secret from Kendall?" Damn. I was in so much trouble. I slowly turned to see the man in question standing in the door way of the kitchen. I smiled and tried to make a run for it to my room but his voice stopped me.

"Katelynn Brooke. Turn your ass around right now. What is Kendall not supposed to know?" When he used that tone, I knew I had to listen or my ass was grass.

"I got a tattoo." I whispered, hoping he wouldn't make me repeat it.

"What was that?" No such luck.

"I got a tattoo." I repeated, louder. His eyes bulged and Carlos just stood there like a dummy. After an awkward silence, I finally turned and made my way to the room James I shared. I still felt like shit from the lack of sleep the night before, so I just crawled into the bed, still in my swim suit.

**AN HOUR ½ LATER**

"Katie." I heard my name, not sure where it was coming from. "Katie." There is was again, but more clear this time. I rolled over, into something solid. My eyes shot open. There was James.

"What?" I asked, hoping he would let me sleep a little longer.

"Baby, can we talk?" I knew this was coming. I just wanted to avoid it for as long as possible.

"What is there to talk about, James? How about how you don't love me and couldn't tell me?" I knew the sarcasm was a low blow, but damn I didn't care at the moment. His face was priceless, the different emotions flickering across it. I instantly felt guilty; I mean I do still love him. Even if he doesn't love me anymore.

"What makes you think I don't love you anymore?" I then realized that I had said that out loud. I thought for a second, there wasn't really any proof. I sat there, at a loss for words, no idea what to say. I couldn't look at him, even if I was wrong, I had hurt James.

"Katie." I refused to look up, even when his hand found its way under my chin. "Look at me, please?" I had to after that, his voice almost desperate.

"What made you think I didn't love you anymore?" his eyes searching my face for an answer. I broke down, a sobbing mess into his bare chest. His arms automatically going around my waist made me realize that I was still in nothing but my bikini. I quickly sat up, wiped my face and dashed to the bathroom. I leaned up against the door and thought back to the last couple days, the pain of not sleeping with James, the heartache of having to ignore him for my own petty insecurities.

"Baby sister?" I heard from the other side of the door. I ignored it, hoping he would go away. No such luck.

"Katelynn Brooke Knight, open this damn door before I kick it in." Just like Kendall to make a threat like that. I quickly made up my mind, don't open the door. Bitters be damned. Not even three seconds later was Kendall beating on the door. I finally opened it.

"What?!" I yelled in his face. He stepped back, shocked. I never was one to yell at him. The other boys came running into the room, they probably had quite a sight. Me standing in the bathroom doorway in nothing but a bikini and Kendall frozen, staring at me.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Logan asked, always the one to ask questions.

"Kendall's being an ass!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Im positive all three of them had seen my tattoo by now, it was huge. Kendall finally snapped out of it and started yelling at me about my language, my attitude, etc. I kinda spaced out after the beginning. I just sat there, letting him yell. After a few minutes of this I finally went to my room, ignoring Kendall. I changed and grabbed my phone, going back out to the living room. The boys were all sitting on the neon couch, so I took the end with Logan. I decided to text him.

**To Jamie3:**

_I'm srry:/_

**To Katie3:**

_I kno, its ok._

**To Jamie3:**

_No its not, & u kno it._

**To Katie3:**

_Yea it is, u kno I lov u._

After receiving that one text, I broke down. Joy, more tears. All the boys surrounding me, and I have to start crying. I felt arms around me, pulling me into a toned chest I immediately recognized. I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, sniffing the cuda. I felt rather then heard him chuckle, the vibrations sending shivers down my spine. When I looked up all the boys were gone and it was really quite.

"Where-" my sentence was cut off by the lips I had missed so much. The flavor of toothpaste, watermelon and something distinctly James flooded my senses. This was something I had missed more than I thought was possible, but just the feeling of his chest to mine made my blood boil. I knew in that moment I would never love someone as much as I loved James.

He owned my heart.

Forever and always.

**A/N: Iv been writing this for so long, I'm surprised I even finished it, lol. Love it? Hate it? Let me know! **

**-Brooke.**


End file.
